


Tim in Wonderland

by Hasegawa



Category: DCU
Genre: Bittersweet, Foursome, M/M, Multi, Tim just wants to be loved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-02-28 17:17:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13276185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hasegawa/pseuds/Hasegawa
Summary: Tim just wants to be loved





	1. Chapter 1

“I am back.” Tim called out when he opened the door and threw the keys into the bowl. The whole apartment was already lit, because unlike six months ago, there are more than one people living in it.

 

“Welcome back, Rob.” Kon smirked and pulled him into a crushing hug, and then give him a chaste kiss. “How was your meeting?”

 

“Bad.” Tim sighed and melted into those strong arms. It was so warm and comfy and he didn’t want to let go. He had learned to enjoy it instead of rejecting those comfort for the past six months. Kon’s face was buried in his hair, and Tim didn’t care how he smelled, because Kon loves it all.

 

“Hey, Baby bird, whatcha doing there?” Jason called from the living room. “Let him come in, Superboy. Dont molest him in the front porch of his own apartment. We have freaking goose feathers sofa here. It’s better than the cold dirty floor.”

 

Kon huffed and pulled Tim into his arms, carrying the smallest built Robin princess style to the couch. Jason smiled softly to Tim (and Tim still couldn’t believe it) before gathering the younger man into gentle head lock.  

 

“They have rerun Frozen in the TV.” Jason shrugged and patted Tim’s hair.  “I wanna watch. Don’t cha?”

 

“You and your Disney obsession.” Dick laughed from the kitchen where he was making dinner with Damian. They looked good from the back, both wearing apron Tim purchased three months ago, with writings “Don’t touch the cook” on the front. It was  bought because everytime Tim cooked, someone stood behind him and just take him. So Tim purchased the apron as a warning, yet it became everyone’s favourite. Dick bought another identical one and thus every afternoon, someone used it when they cooked.

 

“Today’s menu are risotto and vegetarian curry.” Damian spoke , voice already heavy like Bruce. The boy already became a young adult, with build almost identical with his father and features like his mother. He looked regal and mysterious, unlike the little Demon Wing they all hated.

 

Tim let himself lulled into sleep amongst his lovers; his family. They are all happily lived together in the apartment Tim owned, and it has been six months since they started living together, in a huge polyamory relationship. Nobody could hold a proper relationship by themselves, so with this arrangement, everybody feels included without needed to disappoint the others.

It was just the best win-win situation.

 

Especially when Tim found himself sandwiched between Kon and Jason, both filling his arse and mouth respectively. Tim panted while Dick fucked Damian into the mattress. Damian turned to Tim and gave the older Bird a chaste kiss on the cheek, and then started to suck on Tim’s nipple.

 

Tim moaned and clenched; Kon came inside him and pulled out, heaving on the side of the bed. Jason pulled out his dick from Tim’s mouth before moving and took Kon’s place. Dick kissed Damian passionately and then changed to fill Tim’s empty mouth. Damian looked lost and lonely, so Tim took Damian’s no-longer-smallest dick into his hand and started pumping.

 

Kon, as superboy, regained his stamina and took Damian from the back. Dick moaned and came into Tim’s mouth, while Jason came on Tim’s stomach. The room smelled like pure sex and filled with delicious voices and moans. Tim was in the middle of them all, receiving everyone even Damian. It was just the perfect night to end an awful week, and so Tim passed out in the middle of his fifth pounding, his fourth orgasm lulled him into blissful unconsciousness.

 

Tim was so happy, so very happy it almost didn't feel quite real.

 

He was in Wonderland.

* * *

 

 

Tim walked into the Bat Cave, feeling awry and awkward with his new Red Robin suit. He went to his corner where the Bat computer was, before finding it was already occupied by the smallest Robin.

 

“Why are you here, Drake? Don’t you have any shame? You are no longer accepted here.”

 

Tim’s face betrayed nothing as he put the usb where all drug dealers shipping data was stored. He meant to gave it to the Bats, but now he doesn’t feel like it anymore. Let Nightwing or Batman do it. They can copy it themselves.

 

Nightwing was quarrelling with Batman on the other side of the Cave, and none turned to welcome Tim. Tim felt so stupid. He gets it, really. No one wants him anymore. Not as a Wayne, nor as a vigilante under the Bat’s name. he didn’t even understand why he kept doing this vigilante business where he could lose his life almost everytime he jumped into the night with his costume. He wasn’t accepted anymore, the Bats don’t need him anymore. Red Hood still tried to kill him just yesterday.

 

And Kon—no, Superboy is still dead.

 

Tim wondered where he was. He felt almost crazy. Just a little bit push to the point of no return.

 

Because he logically knew that his apartment was empty, only he lives there. He logically knew Dick doesn’t want him as a lover, only as a brother and even then Dick didn’t really accept him as family. Jason still hold grudge because Tim was his replacement, and Jason would never love him. Kon was still dead, and dead, and dead. Kon couldn’t be there, Kon would never be able to hold Tim anymore. And Damian is the demon brat from hell who loved to kick Tim out, not kissing Tim chastely and gently.

 

But everything felt so real. Tim’s heart knew when he returned to his apartment, it wont be empty. Dick would be there with Damian cooking like always. Jason would be sitting on the couch watching Netflix and generally calm and happy. Kon would be the golden retriever who waited for Tim to enter the apartment. They would be there, waiting for Tim. And it made Tim’s heart happy. Very happy.

 

Maybe he was running from reality. Maybe he was too weak. But the song keeps playing in his head.

 

_For the first time in forever… at least I have a place._

 

_And Tim was fine with it._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim is still running from reality. Because reality doesn't want him.

Tim loves whole-heartedly. He loves everyone and anyone.

 

**Jason/Red Hood**

 

Tim found Jason slumped by the small dirty dark alleyway, hand clutching his stomach. He immediately came towards him, taking his mask off and just to find the man was bleeding from the side. It devastate Tim to no end, to see his love bleeding like this. His chest was in pain, as if he had the wound himself.

 

He took out his kit and pulled out the compress; putting it on the side of wound. Jason seemed to be out of it, cooperative when Tim cut off his uniform to start sewing the open wound shut. He then added his own special potent medicinal balm, the one he perfected because Tim needed it more than anyone else (Tim has lower body immune system thanks to the missing spleen, so any wound is potentially dangerous when treated late. But since it has high content of morphine in it, Tim doesn’t think Bruce would approve).

 

He put on tight dressing on the side, and then tried to pull Jason up and get him back to safer place when Jason suddenly regained his consciousness (now he wasn’t bleeding and in pain). The man growled and pushed Tim away.  

 

“What the heck are you doing, _pretender_!?”

 

Tim blinked. Red Hood stood in front of him, body heaving, hand on the top of dressing on his stomach wound. Body radiating anger, unlike the easy love Tim usually received every afternoon. There was no gentleness inside his voice at all.

 

Oh.

 

Tim was ashamed. He mistook Red Hood with Jason, his Jason. It was embarrassing. He looked away and turned, running away from reminder of reality.

 

What was wrong with him?

* * *

 

 

**Damian/ Robin**

 

Tim occasionally have breakfast in the Wayne Manor, whenever he spent the night there. Usually it was after a long discussion with Batman or a tiring business meeting with Wayne Corps stakeholder. The breakfast itself was a nice one, as Alfred always brings out his best coffee and the most wonderful French toast. Alfred was the one thing Tim knows as constant. He was always the great Grandfather he never had before he joined Wayne Family.

 

He was enjoying his French toast and Coffee when Damian entered the room. He looked sleepy and so cute. Tim smiled warmly and patted the chair beside him, signalling Damian to join him. Somehow Damian was smaller than usual, though.

 

The younger man sat beside him, head nodded from traces of sleepiness. Tim laughed and pulled a new plate for him, putting some wheat bread and marmalade jam he knew Damian ate religiously every morning. He looked around to find the herbal tea Damian chose to drink at breakfast (the youngest Robin doesn’t like coffee, unlike Tim). He found the pot Alfred already prepared and poured it into a cup, putting it in front of Damian.

 

“hhnnn.” Damian rubbed his eyes and looked up to Tim. Tim smiled at him, warmly. Oh how he loves his little Bird so much. He looks so cute with sleepy face, the Princeling

 

“….Are you going senile, Drake? Why are you smiling like a demented person? It’s _disgusting_.”

 

Tim blinked. He rubbed his own eyes and found Damian wasn’t Damian. He was smaller and his face was scrunch in disgust. Disgust of Tim.

 

Oh.

 

He turned, trying to keep his embarrassment down. Tim made a silly mistake again. Damian wasn’t here. Damian is waiting for him in the apartment. He was currently in the Manor, and there are no Damian or Jason or Dick or Kon here. Nobody likes him here.

 

He sighed and changed into his poker face, putting the plates on the sink and then left the kitchen. He better gets a hang of himself, he has a lot of meetings today and people to negotiate with. He has no time for Wonderland.

 

* * *

 

**Kon/ Superboy**

Tim couldn’t move much. His sprained ankle made it hard to move around. Luckily he was safe in the rooftop, and the goons were all down. The police will come in a few minutes and catch them all. Tim’s job there was finished.

 

He wanted to go back to the apartment as soon as possible. His ankle just hurts. Not his worse wound; but quite debilitating as he sprained his ankle often enough to render it so bad; he had metal screw to ensure his feet still attached to his leg.

 

In his moment of confusion, Tim called the one person he knows would help.

 

“Kon!” he shouted, calling. “Kon, I need your help, please!”

 

And Tim waited. Depending on where he was at that moment, Kon usually takes about five to fifteen minutes to arrive. He would grin with his boyish smirk, and then pulled Tim up as Tim’s personal air-service.

 

After a long time of waiting, still no one came.

 

His internal clock told Tim it has been an hour he sat on the roof, waiting.

 

Kon was never coming. Because he was dead. Superboy was dead. And Kon, his Kon, couldn’t leave Tim’s apartment.

 

Tim let himself wept a bit. Just a bit. And then he braced himself and walked home.  

* * *

 

 

**Dick/Nightwing**

“Dick, can I have your time for a bit? I need to discuss the case…”

 

“Just a bit, Little Bro.” Dick shrugged it off with apologetic smile. “Damian needs me there for a bit. How about I’ll see it later, yeah? Promise.”

 

Dick left. Leaving Tim alone in the cave with the big screen and gruesome serial murder case.

 

Tim knew it wasn’t Dick who said it. His Dick would bring Damian together instead and sees through the case with him, together. His Dick was fair in his attention; and no one would feel left out.

 

So instead of sinking into useless disappointment, Tim turned and left.

 

His apartment was waiting for him. His family was waiting for him there. His lovers are waiting for him. And they all like him.

 

* * *

 

“Welcome back, Timmyyy,” Kon shouted even before Tim could close the door, smushing Tim into his embrace. Tim laughed and hugged back, enjoying Kon’s scent around him.

 

“What’s for dinner, Kon?” Tim asked.

 

“It’s lasagne tonight, Alfred recipe!” Jason shouted from the kitchen. “Don’t worry, Big Bird hasn’t touch any of it, I am cooking and it will be awesomely edible.”

 

Dick hissed from his place on the sofa, but unable to move because Damian was sleeping on him like a cat. Dick looked up to Tim and smiled. “Welcome back, Timmy. How was outside?”

 

“Oh, as usual.” Tim shrugged. “I am tired.”

 

“Just spend the tomorrow resting, then, Baby Bird.” Jason told him from the kitchen. He was wearing the apron. “Tomorrow we can Netflix and chill for the whole day, how bout dah?”

 

Tim laughed at the bad joke and sat on the side, and pulled by Dick to sleep on him, by Damian’s side. Damian snorted and cuddled deeper into Dick and Tim’s body. He looked so cute in his sleep and cuddly. So cuddly. Kon pouted and sat on the floor beside them, letting himself being patted by Tim. They spent the night enjoying lasagne and watching Sherlock. It was heaven. It was Wonderland where Tim could love freely and not being rejected. It was so good, warm, bizzare but so lovely.

 

_For the first time in forever… I won't be alone._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely kudos and comments! Really appreciate it~! 
> 
> The next chapter should be the last. and warning Major Character Death ahead. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last part. Warning: Major Character Death.

It has been sometimes since Dick saw Tim last. The last time was when Tim asked him to review the serial killer case together, which Dick postponed because Damian needs help with his homework. Dick wasn’t thinking too much by it, because the case was simple and he was sure Tim can solve it faster than the two of them together. Tim is such a smart Robin.

 

However, it was already almost a fortnight since the last of Red Robin was seen. He was not patrolling too, starting that night. He didn’t attend his job at Wayne Corporation too, and Bruce was forced to act as the CEO full time now Tim wasn’t there. Tam couldn’t contact him, neither can Barb. It was almost he just… simply disappear.

 

The bizzare thing was that Dick was reminded of Tim’s absence by Jason and Damian. Both Birds told him on separate occasions, one masked as a passing remarks and the other insults, but both of them asked where Tim was.

 

Bruce only noticed when Dick told him.

 

And now he had a mission, to search the missing bird. Maybe he was in undercover mission, maybe he was taking some well-deserved vacation (if Tim was, then Dick would be angry because he didn’t bring Dick with him!). but either way, the last log they received from Tim was too long ago and they needed to ensure he was alright.

 

Dick has searched everywhere; and Tim was nowhere to be found. A month in, now. No one has news on Tim. They even had villains asking where Timothy was (Ra’s). when even Ra’s asking, then it meant something must be wrong. Even Bruce has become agitated. They searched left and right, still nothing.

 

Hood became even harsher and killed so many thugs it was unusual for him. Damian was silent and somehow his insult of Tim, from at least ten times a day, became none. Dick still searched, because he believed his little brother was still somewhere out there, hiding.

 

They finally find him by the worst possible way. A call to the police office telling something smelly was hidden in one of the smaller apartment by the outskirt of the city. Dick and his co-worker Dean went there to investigate.

 

The lock was hard to open, such as if it was guarded with high tech. but it was one that Dick was familiar with. It was Tim’s signature. He took a sniff from outside the door and felt chill to the bone. He knew the code by heart, Tim’s password. He wished it was the wrong code, but the door opened easily.

 

Dean was behind him, questioning why Dick seemed to know the code to get in. Dick ignored him and entered. The room was dark, damp and smelled of decay. He turned on the light to see a normal living room, filled with books and laptops and cushions. Just like a normal geek living room. He saw some things he never wanted to see there – Red Robin’s boots, his kit, some stale samples.

 

The kitchen was empty, but it seemed that someone has been cooking –yet there was no leftover, no stain, nothing. As if someone was playing pretend cooking. Without cooking anything.

 

He walked over to the bedroom, feeling dread pooled inside his stomach.

 

When he opened the room, it was the stench source. Dick couldn’t breathe, but it was more because of his sinking stomach. There, on the bed, lies a body, decomposing. It was purple and green and dried. The face was half skin and half decay. His eyes were closed; his face relaxed and just empty. It was smaller than the living Tim. The body was huddled into itself; hugging himself to death.

 

Dick dropped to his knees.

 

“No.” he could hear himself deny. “No.”

 

Dean dropped beside him, asking whether he was alright. But Dick couldn’t, wouldn’t believe it.

 

No.

* * *

 

 

Tim was in his wonderland, for sure. But it couldn’t be true because he was outside his apartment.

 

He was out of the apartment, with Kon beside him and Jason on the other, Dick calling them from the car; Damian already seated beside him. They were all happy because they could leave the apartment, and now they planned to have a picnic.

 

“Let’s go someplace better, Baby Bird.” Jason told him. “It will be fun, I promise.”

 

“We’ll eat ice cream all day!” Kon smirked.

 

Tim patted him. “You already eat ice cream all day, Kon.”

 

They laughed and entered the car together. It was like a dream, and it turned to reality.

 

Tim was so happy. Everybody was happy, laughing. Dick was laughing and driving recklessly, Damian scolded beside him but half-joking. Kon was busy putting his head out of the window (feels like flying, Tim!) and Jason snored beside him, head on Tim’s shoulder. Everybody was enjoying themselves and Tim was happy because they are all happy.

 

“I love you all.” Tim said.

 

“We love you too, Baby bird.” Dick answered from the front of the car. Tim smiled widely.

 

_For the first time in forever… he has a chance._

 

 

* * *

 

They found out the reason of his death was dehydration, starvation and untreated wound that resulted in septic shock. Nobody realised it until it was too late. And so Timothy Drake-Wayne, aka Alvin Draper, aka Red Robin passed away in silence, without anyone knowing, two days after Dick refused his request to check out the serial killer case.

 

It’s a month after when they found the body, so it was already dried and decaying. They only identified the body based on the leftover DNA. They cremated the body (as it was too frail—it decomposed by just a touch). There was no ceremony, just a simple legalised death certificate. The apartment was closed and cleaned professionally, and by the end of the month, the apartment was renovated and sold.

 

There was a new case beside Jason’s old Robin uniform showcase. It was Red Robin’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna write the angsty guilty days of Dick Grayson's but it doesn't come out right, so this is the end. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> basically Tim just made believe a live where he was loved by people he wanted to be loved. 
> 
> I am open for prompt too, if there are any. Thanks for reading!
> 
> Happy New year 2018~!


End file.
